Our World is Going to Get MUCH Smaller

I can not believe I am 2 sleeps away from seeing Kimberlie again !! But,this time I don't have to leave her, this time I get to bring her home to start our family.  What a feeling it will be to put her down in my living room and see the look on her face when she feels carpet under her feet for the first time; when she sits in her booster chair for the first time or when she feels grass for the first time.  I was talking to a friend a few days ago about how fun it will be to experience all Kimberlie's "firsts". 

When I bring Kimberlie home, her WHOLE world will be changing. She will not hear roosters crowing all night long or random dogs barking all night long, it's going to be VERY different from Haiti.  For the last 2 years she has learned to love and trust the women (her nannies) who have been caring for her. And for the last 2 years, she has been in the same room nearly every day. My home will smell different, sound different, the food will taste different and even in my little townhouse there will be so much to see. The differences will be overwhelming for her. She needs to settle into a new normal, to learn that this place is her safe place, her home and that I am her mom. And that is why we need to make our world smaller.

For a while, Kimberlie and I will be hanging out at home together, getting to know each other and learning what it's like to be a family.  Remember, I am new to this too=)  We won't be attending any big galas or other big events, those will most likely overwhelm her as well. While at home, I will be Kimberlie's only caregiver. I will hold her, feed her, change her, bathe her and comfort her.  Kimberlie needs to learn to trust that I will ALWAYS be here to meet all her needs. This is HUGE for adopted children and certainly does not happen over night! It actually can take years for a child to fully attach.  This trusting relationship is sooo important and will help Kimberlie form positive relationships with others later in life. Another part of the attachment puzzle I will attempt is meeting her needs immediately. When a baby cries, mom or dad goes to them and picks them up.... no brain-er and that is how attachment forms. Infants begin to understand and trust that when they need something, that need will be met by a trusting adult. Kimberlie's trusting adult is ME =)

 
 So, when you come over for a visit (after a while) or see us around town, I would ask that you don't try and pick her up , give her hugs, and/or give her snacks. I know, it does seem a bit extreme and this will be hard for me too. I want nothing but to show off my little sweetie pies to the world and have family and friends give her hugs and kisses, but I do know, from much reading and talking with other adoptive parents, this is the BEST for Kimberlie!

Please ask questions if you are wondering about attachment, or just google it, I think the research on it is really interesting.

I have been thinking about this for a while and have taken some steps in preparation... can't meet your beautiful child's basic needs without meeting you basic needs =) . Now, I just need some Reeses!

I borrowed some info from this blog:   http://www.pureandlasting.com/then-what-our-attachment-plan/